Happy Holidays and a New Year!
Anxiety
Depression: Spiraling Down, Coming Out the Other Side
This month has been a rough month. This is the month my mom passed away. Even though it has been years ago I still miss her, especially when I need motherly advice or information about something. I’m glad it is almost over and a new month dawns, but who knows what this month will bring. Every day is a new day and it is a new day to have a new start.
The journey has not been easy, but without the hard times, a person cannot grow spiritually or mentally. A person will be stunted or slow in their growth. Even a seed as it grows has to push through a hard shell before touching dirt as it grows. Then it has to push hard through dirt to make its way to the open sky. Even then, at times, hard times are over, because there is the weather, rain, cloudy days, hot, dry days, even at times droughts or floods. Depending on where that plant is there is even worse weather, tornados, hurricanes, blizzards, fires, and even battles and wars of all kinds; physical, mental, spiritual…If that plant has deep roots and is strong and has a good Gardener taking care of it that plant will not wither or fade away until its time.
Depression is the worse. It can be debilitating. It feels like walking or wading through clay mud up to your waist while it’s storming. Or walking forwards in tornado force winds and getting nowhere or being pushed where the tornado is going. Then coming out on the other side and feel like you are not in Kansas anymore but in the Land of Who Knows Where.
Having habits or routines can help because when there are days that are clear or brighter it can help get things back on track. There are days it seems like I am dragging or crawling my way through the day just to make it through, but if I can get just one task done, that is my goal to shoot for until I get it done. At times it takes me days to accomplish that goal and when I do I then shoot for that goal daily to get back at making that a habit or a routine.
There are times, a lot of times, it seems like I take a couple of steps forward and even five steps forward, then I fall ten steps backward or I just fall down a hole. Then I have to either climb back out of that hole or start walking forward all over again. However, I never give up.
I encourage you to never give up. Don’t try to handle it on your own. If you need help don’t hesitate to ask for help from family, a friend, a pastor or religious leader, or a professional. Have a great day or evening.
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Small Amount of Pain vs. Long Time of Happiness
The other day my daughter did a bit decluttering without me asking and helping. She threw a lot of things away. It was a bit of a sting and I did a knee jerk way of thinking as to “What was she throwing away? Is it important? Can I reuse it somehow? Will I need it someday?”
At the same time she was decluttering, I was helping my brother fix my vehicle. I needed my thermostat replaced. I was a very quick, easy repair and not an expensive part. I had to go to the store to get more antifreeze, or coolant, to put into my radiator and reservoir. Come to find out I had a leak where my thermostat is. As I drove to the store that got me to thinking about what was being thrown awayhow and why I was feeling the way I was feeling.
As things were being thrown in the dumpster right on top was a stylus that I had been looking for, for about a year, for my old tablet that I had dropped and busted the screen. The screen pretty much shattered and when you turn it on the screen goes crazy and it is hard to see what is going on. Anyway, I picked out the stylus to put back with the broken tablet.
I got to thinking about me pulling that stylus out. “How much does a stylus cost to replace it?” My husband replaced it by buying two, in case I lost one, which I have and I am still looking for it, and it cost about $20- $40 for one. No it is not one that it is made for it, but it is compatible. The one that is made for it costs about 10x’s the compatible one. Why am I keeping the one that goes with the broken tablet. “Can it go with my new tablet?”, I am thinking to myself.
I get to the store, get my stuff, and head back home. I am still thinking about what was tossed and the stylus. Why is it painful. Then I think to myself “You know what, how easily can the stuff that was tossed be replaced? How much would it cost to replace? If it is $20 or less, then let it go. Plus, if you haven’t missed the stuff until now, you are not going to miss it when it is gone because you didn’t even know what or where the stuff was.” With that last thought That eased the pain of letting go. Also, the thought of “How much happier you are going to be when the stuff is gone, the area is clearer, and that is less stuff that you have to deal with later.” I think I need to let my daughter declutter on her own more or just do a little more of less thinking about things and letting go and chucking it out the door.
So the moral of this story is if you have to much stuff that is taking too much of your attention away from the things you love to do or the ones you love to spend time with, you need to declutter and either trash or donate/give away the things you haven’t used in the past 6 months to a year, didn’t know you had it in the first place, love it, like it or want it. If you need help, seek help from a professional to help you declutter. It will be freeing to have a space you can enjoy that is not cluttered, clean, and organized.
Clutter just causes anxiety, depression, and health issues.
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Life and Success Happenings
The past couple of months have been rough. My family and I went on a staycation and stayed in a hotel for a weekend. We came back home and we all got sick. My child was sick first. thought she had a cold due staying in a different place during the changing of seasons. Two days later I got sick with the same thing but was a little worse. About a day to a day and a half later my husband got sick with the same thing, seemed like a cold, but was the worse of all and ended up in the hospital for a few days with fluid in his lung. He still has issues with swelling. Since then, I’m still having issues coughing. We were all tested for COVID and all tests came back negative, but the doctor believes otherwise. We just had different levels of how we were effected. So basically the past six weeks or so I have been dealing with asthma due to the environment and at the same time trying to still take care of my family, finishing the school year, which ended well, and also decluttering/organizing my home trying to work on my business of Uncluttered Lanes.
The end of May I was trying to get my house ready for family to come and stay for a while and visit. I was a little happy that plans changed for them to come next month. Due to breathing issues it was taking a little longer for me to do things and then the weather getting warmer made breathing even more of a challenge. However, despite all of that, success and so much progress has been made. Plus, I went to the doctor the other day and my breathing and coughing are starting to get under control. I’m able to do a bit more, but still have to take it easier.
The successes and progress that has been made are our laundry room is almost done completely getting the insulation and drywall up. We just have one side to do and then get drywall up to cover the areas that are not covered, all of the gaps. Our spare bedroom is mostly ready for guests to stay. We just need to add little touches to the room to make it more comfortable and homey for guests. I have also been working on my kitchen trying to get it to where it will very functional for me and everything can flow in there making it easier for me to cook and clean and others to do the same when I’m not able to be in there. That way they can keep the kitchen organized and functional flowing smoothly and I can come back in without having to put it back together again.
We are also trying to get other things going so that we can run our own business(es) and work from home together. As I have mentioned before I am a perfectionist and I’m trying not to let that get in the way, but I am trying to figure out to get things setup in order to make money in different ways so that we don’t have to rely on one way to earn an income. I am keeping it in the forefront of my mind that this is a learning process and this is a learn as you go type of thing also.
I am planning on trying to post pictures of my progress and videos of my decluttering journey, but at the same time I am learning how to do those things, especially with the video part. So please, join me enjoy this wonderful journey on the Uncluttered Lanes. Have a great week everyone. Don’t forget, it wonderful to stop, take a rest, a day of play, to smell the flowers, and enjoy the view of nature and/or your family around you. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Be kind. Love and help others. Thank you for those who are traveling with me on this journey. I greatly appreciate it.
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Update-Life Happens
I’ve started working upstairs. I have the hallway almost completely cleared and ready to start switching two bedrooms. Then start decluttering and packing the bedrooms so that things can be moved easier. I can’t wait to have this project done and organized to see how lovely the two rooms will be. I will eventually get pictures posted of the journey to getting the house decluttered, organized, some areas remodeled and cleaned.
A few weeks ago my child, me and my husband all came down with like a cold/cough. It started with my child, then a couple days later, I started getting a sore throat and runny nose and then coughing. A day or two later, my husband came down with the same thing, but he was worse than the rest of us. We all had a doctor’s appointment and the doctor said that he needed to be checked out at the hospital. The hospital kept him for a few days and that was a bit rough because our child could not go up and see him because of the regulations for the pandemic. Which, by the way, gets me, because the hospital would allow me to let my child sit in the waiting area of the emergency room or the main lobby of the hospital, by herself at the age of 11 while I sit my husband in the emergency room or in his room a few floors up. They have lost their minds. I don’t know how long I would be with my husband, a couple of hours at least; and to leave her alone that long in a public place?! They have another thing coming.
Anyway, back to the original point. As my husband was in the hospital my daughter still had school to do and there was house work that still needed to be done. This is while I am still sick and coughing. However, I didn’t get much done around the house. I spent most of my time trying to get through helping my daughter with her school work and then getting better with my coughing.
Since I have started decluttering, when we become ill or life just happens, something interrupts our daily life, I have noticed that the house does not throw up and get out of control like it has in the past. It’s a lot more manageable when we are able to get back on track. It has taken me a very long time to get just to this hopeful point in my life. Literally about most of my life, if not all of my life. This has taken me only a little over a year to get to this point of seeing the light at the end of the messy, cluttered, only a path through the house, tunnel. It is a wonderful feeling.
When my husband came home from the hospital it has been easier not to have a victim mentality of “No one is helping me” and “I have to take care of everyone myself and the house”. That is a rough road to travel and I have traveled it for a very, very long time, about 13 almost 14 years.
Once I found out that I clean and organize differently than others and I have my own way and style of doing things, that has taken a huge load off my mind and paralysis has eased quite a bit. It comes up ever so often, but not as much as it used to. I have always been the type of I can do anything that anyone else can do I just do it differently or it might take me longer than others. That has been true in decluttering and organizing my house, but with the training I have, I am pleased with the results that I have accomplished and I would love to help others that are going through the same things I have. That is what Uncluttered Lanes is all about. With that, everyone have a great day.
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I Got Lost
Last year was a year that got me a bit unfocused and lost on what I was and am suppose to do. A cross between politics, election, pandemic, and isolation, routines were out of whack, what routines I did have, then life got out of whack. Depression and anxiety was really setting in towards the end of the year and I became paralyzed. I shut down mentally. When I shut down mentally it is hard for me to even take care of myself, let alone my family. However, when school started that brought back some “normalcy”.
School is the only thing that has remained the same through the whole issues of the pandemic and issues of this country and the world. My child goes to an online school so that helped with not having to worry about whether to go back physically or making up what couldn’t be done by not going physically back to brick and mortar. There are no make up missed days because of snow or pandemic. There are more breaks and longer breaks because we don’t have to make up days and we get out sooner than the brick and mortar schools. It has been really nice to have that consistency in our lives.
Even though I have not blogged much or posted much on Facebook I have been busy decluttering and organizing my house. I have been doing that pretty regularly, but sometimes I just shut down and don’t do anything and clutter, dishes and laundry all build back up, but it I have noticed that it is not getting as bad as it used to. Before, within a day or two the whole house would be out of control, but now it takes it a week or two and still not as out of control as it used to be. It is nice.
I have also been trying to learn new tricks and tips to decluttering, organizing and cleaning, but even with that I have sort of lost my way and became sidetracked with other things. The worse part of things is that I am a perfectionist and that can be debilitating. That causes me anxiety and then turns into depression, and then I become paralyzed until I break out of this horrible cycle by doing one thing, just one thing. It might be read a self-help book about decluttering, organizing, getting my life organized. It might be doing a load of dishes everyday for a few days and then add doing a load of laundry everyday. It might be taking an area and decluttering, tidying, or organizing it to break this cycle because these things changes my way of thinking and makes me feel better and unparalyzes me. Seeing a decluttered, tidy, organized area makes me happy and feel successful and free.
This past week my husband ended up in the hospital with issues breathing. It was hard because our child couldn’t go up and see him while he was there. So we couldn’t see him physically until he got out a few days later. While he was in the hospital I still had to do things around the house. We found out that he has to ease his way back into doing things. Now I really have to do a lot more, but with the way I have been decluttering the house it has made it easier to continue decluttering while taking care of him, still helping with schoolwork, and do whatever else that needs to be done.
Do I have a regular routine? No. Except for school. That is the only thing that is as routine as it is because there are live lessons that my child has to attend on some days and in order to get the lessons done in a reasonable amount of time the school day has to start by a certain time. Ending time differs. As for the house “routine”, I basically try to do things when I think of it or while I am waiting or doing something else. For example, while I am waiting for coffee or water for tea to be done I try to empty the dishwasher or load laundry into the washer. If the dishwasher is empty then I try to put in a load while waiting or switch the laundry into the dryer while waiting for the tea or coffee. Also, while I am cooking I might try and do the same or declutter the counters or sweep the floors, depending on how quick the food is cooking.
The past few months my husband and I have been slowly trying to get our laundry room completed. We are turning part of our garage into a laundry room. We built the walls a year or two ago and we are almost done insulating the walls. We have some drywall up on the bottom part of the wall. Yet there is so much more to do and now the outside of the house is needing to be done, and my husband is trying to recover. However, we just take one day at a time, one project at a time, do what we can, and at times we only work for two hours a day. That’s truly how we have gotten things done, by working as a family for two hours on the weekends and I work for a little bit during the weekdays, maybe 15 minutes to an hour.
Now it time for me to try to get back on track and focus on working more on my business. I will try and blog/post more even if it is what I have completed for that week. I am wanting to also start other business things with my husband have products along with services to sell, but for now I just have services.
My services are helping with decluttering, downsizing, organizing, and teaching how to manage your home whether it’s in person or online. Follow the Uncluttered Lanes journey here or on Facebook and if you have any questions or concerns or need help please contact me. The information is on the contact page. Thanks. Have a great week.
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New Year, New Semester, New Things to Come
Last year brought a lot of new ways to live life. With my family some things have changed and some things have not. The school year, the only thing that changed was the grade level of my child. The teacher didn’t change, the school routine didn’t change, too much. Online learning really helped with consistency and something that seems “stable”. With a virus spreading it has changed things a bit.
My husband works from home, I’m still working on my own home business, Uncluttered Lanes, “homeschooling”, and reorganizing the house and even some remodeling projects. At the start of staying at home we were doing pretty good, but then things started going haywire. We couldn’t go to the local Y for Taekwondo classes or swimming, those gave us social interactions, especially for my child, and now I think we are starting to feel the affects of isolation. We’re pretty introverted, but we do like a little socialization. As for my child, there are no other children around or close by or that are about the same age. However, we just take one day at a time and keep going.
For the past few weeks we weren’t sure if my husband was going to be still working or not. As of right now he still has a job, but at the same time we are having some other things in the making to have as extra income and or as the home business and we all just work from home. This year we are planning on making products to sell along with still having the organizing business. So if you want to continue with us on this journey, follow us here and on Facebook. Have a great day.
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Rising Up From A Downward Spiral
The past few weeks, to probably over a month, I slipped into a deep feeling of anxiety; mostly due to what’s going on in the political world. Drama, drama, drama, along with division, division, and a lot of division. Such hatred rising up, not sure who or what to believe, and no one caring about family or friendship just politics.
Anyway, I became sick a few weeks ago with a cough. My typical weather changing, harvest season, along with major wildfires allergies/seasonal asthma. Some families know that when the one who mostly takes care of the house is down, with an injury or an illness, the house goes down with them because others in the household doesn’t pick up “the slack” what doesn’t get done. I’m very grateful when my husband and daughter step in and help. We are a team and when one of us is down we have to work as a team to keep things from getting out of control, dishes, laundry, decluttering, etc.
My anxiety became so bad that I broke out into an itchy type of a rash that also becomes very painful to touch. Makes me think of a type of Shingles. I’m slowly getting better, in the meantime…when I think that I don’t get much done, when things actually don’t get done, it amazes me how much I do get done each day. Might be a little, but if makes a huge difference when little is done consistently every day.
So to get out of this downward spiral it has taken prayer, listening to sound biblical teachings, reading God’s Word, and most of all prayer from me, my family and my friends. I couldn’t, nor can I ever, get out of a dark pit by myself. It takes God’s mighty and awesome hand to lift me out of the pit of despair. As I get better physically each day, I take my time and do a little at a time and when I can do more, build on that to get more and more done to build my physical body’s strength, and let God strengthen my spirit and heal the parts that need healed.
Have a wonderful and blessed day. Love and help each other when possible, even if it’s just being a listening friend.
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School Has Begun- Three Weeks In
The school year has begun and there is a lot to learn. New teacher, new grade, new routines, new responsibilities, new ways of doing things. I have taught my child at home since kindergarten through an online school. It’s nice to do school at home and yet have teachers’ help with teaching. However, there are always bumps along the way. New teachers, new schedules, new ways and more responsibility which can cause friction, but patience goes a long way, especially with teachers and child(ren).
These are rough times due to the Corona virus. Families are having issues with just that alone; being home all of the time with their families in which they are so busy with extra-curricular activities, work, kids, going to a brick and mortar school, and electronics, that they have hardly any time to spend with each other and talk to know each other and what’s going on and what everyone is dealing with in each of their lives, then you put them all in one place. It’s like putting strangers all in one place to live with and life gets very awkward and stressed because they don’t know how to engage with each other and come together as a team. Everyone in the house has lived such separate lives that they don’t know how to live and spend time with each other. This time of being quarantined will either bring a family together and they learn how to be a team or they break apart and become even more estranged with each other.
My family has always been a team and we love working together no matter how big or how small the activity or project is. Now we have even more division due to people being killed and in not just talking about Black Lives Matter situation. As a nation we have always been divided and now we are being even more divided because people don’t talk to each other or to others from different cultures to learn about each other, to come to understand each other, and help each other. We’re not working as a team. We are not team players. It’s now every man, woman, or child for themselves. That’s not things are suppose to be.
Anyway, I digress. I’m sorry I got off track a little, but this is my point, with me teaching my daughter at home and having help with an online school we are all learning to work together and help each other to work as a team. When we work together things happen and it’s powerful, but when we work by ourselves or against each other, a house divided CANNOT stand, it WILL fall.
I love working with my child’s teachers and my family as a team and that’s how a house can be built strong and stand strong.
I haven’t posted much here or on Facebook because I’m getting my family and home in order so that we can travel in the Uncluttered Lanes without cluttering them up.
Please like, share, and subscribe to my website and Facebook page to get updates and see what I post. Thank you.
Teamwork makes the dream work! –John C. Maxwell
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Anxiety, Paralysis, ADHD?
I deal with anxiety at times depression, but I wonder if I have a bit of ADHD. At times I can be hyper-focused on a task, a project, just about anything. I grew up with a lot of stress and worry. I think that has caused a lot of my issues. At times when I would worry about something it would cause a complete shut down mentally that I would become paralyzed and couldn’t do anything, but just sit and worry about that thing.
Later in my years, there were fewer things that I needed to stress about because that issue was resolved or it was no more. I worried and stressed so much over things for most of my life that My mind would find things to worry or stress about. I think I might get mental fatigue very quickly because of being mentally fatigued growing up stressing over things/situations. I’m not a doctor or I have not been diagnosed, but this is my personal opinion.
On YouTube, I have listened to quite a few YouTubers on how to organize and manage a home. In some aspects, I am still learning as I go along. My mom became ill when I was young and she was bedridden for a couple of months and didn’t really ever recover from it. She dealt with depression and maybe anxiety for most of my life. When she became bedridden I had to do the cooking and “cleaning”. I use cleaning in quotes because, hey, I was a kid and kids don’t want to clean. I also had to do the dishes. We had so many dishes that we could go a week or so without washing, and that goes for cooking also. I procrastinated a lot because I didn’t want to do anything. I hated cleaning my room, actually, I should say that I hated tidying. We hardly ever cleaned, or at least I didn’t see my mom do it too often.
My parents got a divorce when I was really young. My mom and I moved from a three-bedroom, house to a three-room tiny house. It was literally tiny. The ceilings were about six feet high. My mom couldn’t lift her hands above her head because the ceilings were so low. We had a kitchen, dining room, and living room altogether in one room. There was a bedroom off to the side that was just big enough to have a full-size bed and a fold-up bed, twin size, and a dresser, and a small path to get into bed and to the bathroom and living area. Then we had a bathroom. We lived there for a short time until we moved into a two-bedroom apartment. The furniture seemed to be so big or we had so much of it that there as a path into every room of the apartment. I lived in clutter most of my life because we had sop much.
We had so much stuff that we did laundry twice a month and at times once a month. We could do dishes for almost every two weeks. There was a time I tried to get rid of some excess stuff, mostly dishes that for everyone that I got rid of it seemed that 10 more took its place. My mom would get so mad at me. That’s why I never decluttered tidied or cleaned. I felt like it was useless and I didn’t like getting yelled at. My mom never taught me how to properly take care of a house because she was so sick.
Now that I am older I am trying to teach my child to take care of a house more properly, a little at a time when there is a lot and not to let the house get so out of control. Not to get too stressed out about things and take a large task a little at a time. Interested in how I do it? Subscribe to my blog, Facebook page to follow me on my journey or contact me about my services.
Uncluttered Lanes 